make my wish come true....

I wish, that you could trust me again.
I wish, that you would remember all the good times that we've had together.
I wish, that I don't have to see it end.
I wish, that I could get some sort of sign from you.
I wish, that you would tell me about the things troubling you.
I wish, that I could see you smile more often.
I wish, that you knew, what I treasure most, I keep with me, all the time.
I wish, that I could be that person that you can lean on.
I wish, that I could be that person that you trust the most.
I wish, that you would open up to me.
I wish, I wish, I wish.

Which is it? A memory? or us?

 still waiting.

君がいるから

ASNFLDISHJLASFSNAPDJK:AL
pain is still there >_>
FML. it won't go away >_>
i wonder, what it would take for it to finally go away D:

at least, when i talk to you im still able to smile and forget everything (Y)

i hope that's the same for you...

i wish i could see you before i go to hillsong, but you're too busy ): 
ahwelll maybe some other time :S

still waiting. 

don't let go.

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again."

I hope you like it... You'll see it in exactly 34 days.

愛してる

I don't understand. It's been over a week, and it still hurts. Nothing has changed, no matter how hard I try. sigh.

What's worse is, now I keep getting the feeling you don't even want to talk. >_>

The past week, has been so slow for me. Because no matter how hard I try not to, I keep thinking about it. D:

But I guess, life's problems wouldn't be called 'hurdles' if there wasn't a way to get over them.

i'm still waiting.

bruised reed that never falls.

Talking about all the stuff that's been happening, I have realised something.

God has a plan. Everything that has happened, was probably meant to, and that I should trust in him, no matter what.

That mistake that I made back then, I now see as a stepping stone. For my relationship with her. A test, to see if those feelings really are there or not. It had occurred to me, who I really cared about the most. But it wasn't until I had lost her before I realised it.

Now, all the stuff that's been happening, is another step in that relationship. If the two of us, work through this, and end up together, I can already safely say, that it will last. Two people, can't go through so much in just one year, for it to just end because of something like this. Everything that we have gone through, will make our bond strong.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

path to salvation?

There is this feeling of loneliness, that keeps creeping up on me. I know that there are people around me that are supporting me, but I can never seem to shake that feeling ever since that day.

It feels really heavy, as though everyday, I'm carrying a massive weight. It's really starting to affect me. My attention span seems to be really short, I can never seem to concentrate, it randomly starts hurting all the time, I can't sleep at night, I randomly zone out for no reason, apparently my voice is a little more coarse and I never seem to have much appetite when there's food in front of me.

All I can do right now, is look at the path before me, and continue my slow walk down it. If I could, I would just sprout wings on my back, and skip all of this crap that I'm feeling.

Whenever I close my eyes, I see you.

 Sometimes, I can't tell if you're the same person I know, but there could never be a replacement for you. Yet, this pain that I feel, will someday fade away to memory, I'm sure of it.

Before I met you, I was happily unaware of how completely miserable I really was. Even if you can't let go of the past, I'll still be waiting.

"Thinking of you, wherever you are. I want to line the pieces up, yours....and mine."

 sticks and stones may break my bones.....

but words will break my heart

ありがとう

nowadays, it seems like gaming is the only way to completely take my mind off things :S
everything seems to remind me of what happened >_> and it sucks.

But I'm glad I have all my friends supporting me. Even though some of them aren't exactly having the best days of their lives, it's still good to know they care. And all the things people have told me, all the advice, it really helps :D

so thank you. all of you. (:

short end of the stick

feeling anhsdaghbfkduyghdaogl right about now.
Things just didn't seem to go the way I wanted it to go, but I guess it happened for a reason. No need being pessimistic about it right?
I tried to create that miracle, but didn't get much.
But I still hold that light of hope. All that's left is to achieve the impossible.
I've done all that I can, only time will tell now.

"you learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry"
but it hurts to see those tears.






and btw. I won't ever give up. Even if it's pointless, I won't give up. but it still hurts.

Carpe Diem

HMM.
well exams are over now. so I am completely free until next Tuesday and that gives me a lot of time to relax...

But it seems everything is pointing me in one direction. Even if they have no possible connection at all, It's still pointing me in one way. maybe i've finally picked a road, for the crossroad i've been standing at all this time....

I don't know what's going to happen. But what does happen, will hopefully be for the better.
and plus - our best thoughts come from others (:

Usually, I just stand around waiting, never putting stuff into motion. About time I changed that. right? (:

something random...

Lies.

Lies are like children.
They're hard work, but it's worth it
because the future depends on them.

enlighten me please.

Are things supposed to be this way?
With each passing day, I doubt more and more.
But there's nothing more that I can do...
I'm constantly trying, but getting no reaction.
I don't want to doubt you, because it has the scent of my fears.
"even if you can't let go of the past, I'll still be there to meet you tomorrow."
But I'm trusting my hopes.
I just hope that you tell me, by making an effort.
Since I know there is nothing more important to me right now...