methods revision

I honestly did not find these funny, until I started studying for methods.

 

yay for sony :D

new addition to my room (:

the calm before the storm

ahhh, its been about a week since I last blogged lol. Didn't even realise with so much to do now. I have hardly been on msn and facebook because I've been gaming so much lately. Dota, Halo Reach and Naruto - ultimate ninja storm 2, too much gaming... This is like the calm before the storm because I'm all relaxed, and then in another week its exams. ohwell >_>

I guess, even though I haven't talked to her in so long, seeing as I haven't been on msn and I didn't see her on friday, nothing feels any different. It's as though our bond is strong enough that I don't need to force it to stay there. Of course, I do want to see her, but it's not like I'll never see or talk to her again. I also think that giving her some space is also a good thing. Everyone needs their time alone without someone always talking to them, right? No point adding anything more, some of what I'm feeling I'd much rather keep to myself. It's not like anyone would want to know anyway haha.

Some people may have noticed, some people might not have, but I changed my blog title and header. Its nothing much, the title I'm not going to explain, one of the few things that I change for my own reasons. The picture though, is a picture of a world. I use it to symbolise the quote under it. Now it might make more sense to you... but of course its from Halo Reach which makes it all the more awesome ahaha.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x07nlQcP7vY - Song that describes how I feel pretty well lol.

The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them.

it always hurts

Having time to think, isn't always a good thing for me. The more I think, the more I doubt that what I'm doing is the right thing to do. I was never that good at waiting, but after all this time, almost 5 months to be exact, I think my patience has gotten better. Every time I see you, I pack all my fear and nervousness away in a box and seal it, so that I can talk to you. You probably don't notice, but I always get nervous when I'm near you. A lot of times, I see you around, such as at box hill on a friday, but I pretend I didn't see you, because I'm scared. I never know what to do, so I just walk away instead. What brings me down, is my jealousy, and how you don't seem to tell me anything that's going on in your life. If something is wrong, I'd like to be there for you, but you don't let me. Even today, msn doesn't want me to talk to you, as it keeps saying that 'the message couldn't be delivered' every time I try and talk to you. A lot of the time, I'm scared of talking to you, because I'm afraid of what I'll hear. I wonder how long I have to wait, until you acknowledge how much I'm willing to do for you. But the question I have to ask myself everyday is; is it worth all this pain? I don't think I'll know, at least not at the moment...

still waiting.

technology ruins romance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIiW0Trk3T0

gotta love wong-fu (Y)

something I came across....

"To go against the dominant thinking of your friends, of most of the people you see everyday, is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform."

and

"Trying to change ourselves in order to please others so that we can feel temporarily whole for having won their approval, is like cutting a flower into pieces so that it will fit into a vase."

mask

Reminiscing about old times. How things were around this time last year. To think so much could happen in one year, to think so much could change. When I go back and read old message histories, when I go back deep into my memory and fish out those times that I was happy, it gives me a sense of joy, that things could one day be like that again.

I saw, that my ties with a lot of people had fallen away. Especially with a group of people that were really fun to hang out with and were always so lively. I miss those times. I want to be able to just let loose and talk about stupid things like we used to. Make inappropriate jokes and be hyper even though it's like 4:30am. Do random things like making our own version of a christmas carol over msn. Such good times. So, if you're reading this Nika, let's go do something next holidays, after all of our exams ok? Maybe we could even go study together, like the first time we properly met. Or go eat at that jap restaurant in china town. Also, I don't think I'll ever forget the first words you ever said to me on msn :P

I also saw, how blind I was. When I go back and read our message history, I wonder why I was so oblivious. If you said the things that you did back then, to me now, I'd be jumping for joy. So why was I so stupid back then? It makes me wish I could go back in time. But there's nothing I can do about it now. Just have to wait and hope.

The biggest thing I've noticed, is that I've put on a mask. But no-one needs to know what that means. Don't want to sound emo right? haha.

"A ray of hope, a vague wish... can only spark from despair."