mask

Reminiscing about old times. How things were around this time last year. To think so much could happen in one year, to think so much could change. When I go back and read old message histories, when I go back deep into my memory and fish out those times that I was happy, it gives me a sense of joy, that things could one day be like that again.

I saw, that my ties with a lot of people had fallen away. Especially with a group of people that were really fun to hang out with and were always so lively. I miss those times. I want to be able to just let loose and talk about stupid things like we used to. Make inappropriate jokes and be hyper even though it's like 4:30am. Do random things like making our own version of a christmas carol over msn. Such good times. So, if you're reading this Nika, let's go do something next holidays, after all of our exams ok? Maybe we could even go study together, like the first time we properly met. Or go eat at that jap restaurant in china town. Also, I don't think I'll ever forget the first words you ever said to me on msn :P

I also saw, how blind I was. When I go back and read our message history, I wonder why I was so oblivious. If you said the things that you did back then, to me now, I'd be jumping for joy. So why was I so stupid back then? It makes me wish I could go back in time. But there's nothing I can do about it now. Just have to wait and hope.

The biggest thing I've noticed, is that I've put on a mask. But no-one needs to know what that means. Don't want to sound emo right? haha.

"A ray of hope, a vague wish... can only spark from despair."