renewal

The time we spend together is so special, I could never replace any of them. 

This feeling is so wonderful, it makes today seem like a wild dream.

focus.

Prayer. I've been praying for the same thing, for almost an entire year now. I'm quite sure that I started praying for this thing, this time last year. But when I stopped praying for it, things went from good, to horrible. I then started praying for the same thing again, along with something else. That 'something else', was for a second chance.

But when prayers turn into promises, nothing can stand in their way. I made that prayer, into a promise for myself. 

It takes a long, long time, to form a strong bond with someone. How well we understand each other, how much we trust each other, is a sign of how strong our bond is. I did a random trust test, and found out which people trust me the most. But trust, is something we all need. That bond we have with each other, can be destroyed in a matter of seconds, even though its taken so long to build. Once that happens, you only have 2 choices. Either, you rebuild that bond you once had, or you let it fade into a memory.

It might seem impossible to rebuild that bond, but I have a focus, to make the impossible, possible. 

Devoted to you

All I want is to see your face shining down on me

All I want is to touch your heart

All I want is you.

P-P-P-PLANETSHAKERS 20TEN :D

So this week, was THE best week of the holidays. PlANETSHAKERS 20TEN AND CRASHING AT NG'S HOUSE. :D :D :D

From the 6th - 9th of April, I was at the Planetshakers concert, which was absolutely awesome. 4 days straight of worship and prayer, the best. Also, with awesome people as well :D I learnt so much this week at planetshakers, and its completely changed me as a person. Before, I thought I was an all right role model for all the younger people at youth, but now, after planetshakers, I've grown so much closer to God and found that I can be so much better, giving my all for the Lord. The preachers were all REALLY, UNBELIEVABLY GOOD. The people that spoke were Russel Evans, Sam Evans, John Bevere, Rich Wilkinson Jnr, REGGIE DABBS AND BISHOP T.D JAKES (Y)(Y)(Y).  All of their words were inspiring, but the people in bold, I took more notice, of, because their words spoke to me more than the others.

Some things that really spoke to me:
Reggie Dabbs - He preached twice to us this week, and some things that really hit me, that he said, were:
"If your decision can kill, then your decision can help someone live." - Optimistic encouragement to make the right decision.
"God is the potter, and you are the clay. He is shaping us into who we are. When you jump off the table, go against what God has in store for you, he won't stop you. He also won't force you back onto the table, BUT, he will help you back up."
John Bevere - His message, took up two sessions, but it was also an amazing message.He talked about empowerment and the grace of God.
"How do we live an extraordinary life? With the Grace of God."
Grace = Charis = God's empowerment that gives us the ability to go beyond our natural ability.
"God expects us to advance his world."
"We have access to the pipeline of faith to the water of grace we need."
"Grace, is God's empowerment."
"You have a slave mentality, you have to replace that with a King's mentality."
Bishop T.D Jakes - He was probably the best speaker at this conference in my opinion (Y)
"God will hold back greatness, to see your motives, a test of faith."
"When good things grow, bad things grow right beside it. Don't expect trouble to hide from you." 
"We have a tendency to need to fix what's going wrong in our lives. But God will get you out of those things. He will get you out of trouble."
"For every struggle in your life, there is a strategy."
"You are too busy trying to fix everything yourself, you don't hear God's strategy."
"Suicide, always leaves people confused."
"There is nothing that God cannot go through."
"Don't let fear hold you back."
Rich Wilkinson Jnr - "Why do you believe it? Because I choose to."

Those are some of the powerful quotes from the preachers, but the things that I learnt the most out of Planetshakers this year, is that if "I serve the man, the man has a plan". Which means that if i serve the Lord, then everything that goes on in my life, has a reason. That it is all planned out already. Also, that i can overcome any trial, any difficulty and keep going, keep going until I reach my goal. With the grace of God. And the last thing, that life is like vapor, it's here one moment, gone the next, so forget about organising things, you never know what tomorrow will hold.

"I surrender all."

The other awesome thing, was the sleepover at Kelly and Krystin's house. At the end of the conference, Friday night, Nick, Paul, Heidi, Thomas and I went over to the ng's house to sleepover. When we got there we ate first, because we were all starving, and then we went to their downstairs thingo, and played lots of random games. Their sister Karyn, was also with us :D First, we played big 2, with the loser eating an expired donut (N) I lost twice D: but luckily I didn't need to take a dump (: THEN, we played chubby bunnies :D, we have videos, that should be up on facebook (if it's not, then it will be soon :D) and we also made some people sing with marshmallows in their mouths (Y) haha Then the last thing we played was charades, teams were Kelly, Nick, Karyn and I vs Krystin, Heidi, Paul and Thomas. and wow. Thomas's acting is just...I can't even think of a word to describe it |: And Thomas also got his facebook hacked, and it was done really well aswell (Y) good job Kelly (: haha

One other thing, throughout this week, I realised something. I'm going to keep that something to myself. But i will tell you that I declared it to God through prayer, and he is my witness. and to keep people guessing, it has something to do with someone that I spent the week with. Which is basically someone from Planetshakers (:

ANYWAY.................

As I said at the start. BEST WEEK OF THE HOLIDAYS.

Aftermath

It's been over a month. Are things really back to the way they were before?
Is my life running as though it never happened?
Have I really forgotten about you?
Or is there still some part of me, deep down, that still wishes things never changed?
I keep a happy outlook, cheer up the people around me, give them advice, because I don't want any of them to go through the same things as I did.
But am I just hiding?
Every now and then, I think about you, remember those happy days. Wonder, about how things would be now, if that never happened.
Even though it's awkward now. Even though we don't talk. I haven't forgotten.
All I can do now is move on, and hopefully, find another. 

Even though that door is shut now. It can still be opened. I have to seal that door, and pray that it never opens again.

It's always good to have friends that care. To have friends to remind me, that it wasn't my fault, that no matter what I did, it would have happened anyway. Having them occupy me is also a bonus, to keep my mind off things. Time to completely let go Andy.

I've filled that hole in my heart, with the light of hope. Not a perfect fit, but that light will grow, and in time, will fit perfectly.