crossroads

Right now, I feel as though my life has hit a crossroad. I've just been traveling down one straight road, not a care in the world. But now, I'm lost, so many paths to to take, and they all lead somewhere different.

Each path, has a different place at the end. Each has its own dilemmas and hardships to face. But along with those, each path would also have its own "happy times", where everything just seems to play out the way I want. I have no way of knowing whats in store, for whichever path I take. I also don't know, how my life will end up after picking a path. Do those paths join up together after traveling a certain way down them, so I end up in the same place, or do they branch off from each other so that I will lead a completely different life?

But whats most important to me, is who will be waiting for me at the end of those paths? Who are the people that will stay in my life, and who will be those, that just seem to drift off?  Will I be happy, with those people? Are they who I want to stay in my life?

You see, the problem with crossroads, is that you don't know where each path will take you, and no matter how hard you try and look, you can't see what's at the end of each road. I don't know which path will have the most happiness, and which one has the most disappointments. I just can't tell.

I have nothing to guide me. I have no idea where to go, because I'm afraid of making a mistake in the choice that I make. It's happened before. So I'll just wait here, at the crossroads, until someone is there with me, to push me along...

"In everything you do, consider the end."

encouragement

For the past 2 weeks at youth, the walls have been decorated with boxes. Those boxes each had a name, for every person part of our youth and church. Those boxes, were for encouragement notes. I didn't write one for everyone, because I decided to only write ones, for those people I felt needed them the most. The people that are quiet and reserved and the people who I feel should grow more in their life with God.

There was one person however, that replied to my note to them, and I told you not to think that way.

You said to me, that "even though I try, I fail. If I work harder I know I'd still fail..." You should never think that way. This doesn't just apply to that person though, this can apply to anyone feeling the same way.

First of all, it's not impossible for you to succeed. Success, isn't something that can be put into the category of 'impossible'. Because, to learn to succeed, you have to first learn to fail. Concentrate on finding your goal, then concentrate on reaching it. 

Also, you should change the way you think of the word 'fail'.  Instead of thinking something along the lines of 'ahh I failed, there's no point, I'll just keep on failing no matter what I do', you should think of it like this. 'ahh I failed, oh well, there's no changing that, I'll just make sure I won't fail next time.' Since failure, is simply the chance to begin again, except this time, more intelligently. 

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

Even footing?

"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving."
Albert Einstein

Balance. Not the kind where you see how long it takes for you to fall over, but the type that helps you determine equal value. A lot of things are usually balanced, otherwise they would go out of control. For example, a scale. If the scale was not balanced, you wouldn't know if one object weighs the same as another. 

Ever heard someone say that everyone is equal? That no-one is better than anyone else? You probably think that's rubbish. After all, you might not be as smart as everyone else, so how can you possibly be equal? It may be true that you aren't as smart as someone else. However, that doesn't mean you can't be someone's equal. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. You may be unbelievably smart, but be completely crap at sport. You could be really fit, but have really poor social skills. Or, you could be a massive player, but not very smart. Everyone excels in different areas, you can't be good at everything.  Also, depending on your environment, everybody grows in a different way. You might hate yourself, and desperately want to change who you are, and your life that goes with it. But running away, changing your name, none of these things help. After all, you can't run away from yourself. 

Everything in your life will eventually balance out. It doesn't matter where you are now, or how your life is now. You should still work hard to achieve whatever you wish to do after leaving school. Even if you don't have a career already mapped out for yourself, there will still be places that you want to go to. Work towards those first. 

You can't create something out of nothing. To become smarter, you have to spend time and effort to study, the same goes to fitness, you have to work hard for it. You can't magically wish yourself to become smarter or stronger overnight, no matter how much you want it. You have to be willing to make sacrifices as well. 

What I'm trying to get at here, is that you are fine the way you are. You should never beat yourself up for thinking that you're inferior to anyone else. Instead, you should work hard, it all pays off in the end. 

Nothing is perfect, but they can be balanced.

renewal

The time we spend together is so special, I could never replace any of them. 

This feeling is so wonderful, it makes today seem like a wild dream.

focus.

Prayer. I've been praying for the same thing, for almost an entire year now. I'm quite sure that I started praying for this thing, this time last year. But when I stopped praying for it, things went from good, to horrible. I then started praying for the same thing again, along with something else. That 'something else', was for a second chance.

But when prayers turn into promises, nothing can stand in their way. I made that prayer, into a promise for myself. 

It takes a long, long time, to form a strong bond with someone. How well we understand each other, how much we trust each other, is a sign of how strong our bond is. I did a random trust test, and found out which people trust me the most. But trust, is something we all need. That bond we have with each other, can be destroyed in a matter of seconds, even though its taken so long to build. Once that happens, you only have 2 choices. Either, you rebuild that bond you once had, or you let it fade into a memory.

It might seem impossible to rebuild that bond, but I have a focus, to make the impossible, possible.