Just like the title says. I feel really down, but I guess I only feel like this, because I really wanted to see you. You said you were busy, but a part of me tells me that you just aren't sure if you want to see me or not. I wonder, is it really that hard, to come out and watch a movie? I'm sure, that you would go if it was any other guy. Why not then?
I finally plucked up the courage to ask you to go somewhere on the holidays, after I put it off for an entire week, and then I get a maybe, which turned into a no. I never would have thought, that it would be so depressing. I left msn early, because I couldn't talk to you, without feeling sad, so I decided to game, to take my mind off things...It didn't work, I wasn't in the mood for anything. I wanted to do something to make myself happier, but nothing seemed appealing.
Should I even bother next time? Is it even worth all this trouble?
I kept myself as free as possible, in the hope that we would go somewhere, I only go to the things that I can't or shouldn't avoid. You said to me, that you'd see me after youth camp, of course we would, at youth. I had hoped you meant over the holidays, but I guess I was wrong.
Even though I'm pretty down because of all this, I'll keep getting back up, because I don't want to lose someone precious. Although, I wonder if it really is worth all this. People have told me constantly to give up, others keep encouraging me. But it's to the point where, whatever someone else says, nothing will change, unless I want it to change. I want to further our relationship, but I can see that you don't want to, that's why I'm waiting, but the only thing that I don't want, is to lose you.
to the world you may be one person, but to me...
you are the world.
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