"I would rather spend my life close to the birds than waste it wishing I had wings."
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
quote of the day 28/6
"Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are,
the things you never want to lose."
Monday, June 27, 2011
hope
In my experience, in everything that I've been through, I've realised something.
Hope, no matter how small, can only come about, through despair.
You can't have hope in something, without having been through some sort of pain or sadness. Otherwise it wouldn't really be hope, it's just something you call hope because it sounds nicer that way.
One definition of hope is that; its a feeling that what is wanted can be had, or that events will turn out for the best. If you weren't in a bad situation, you would have no need of hope.
I have never hoped for something, unless I needed some sort of comfort. It was a way to tell myself that everything would be okay, and that I don't need to worry.
With hope, my confusion disappears and its as though light is shining into my previously dark room.
I've made a decision, to let go of my past, and focus on my present. Mr. Mason even told me today, that in my reports it said that I either need to focus more, or that I'm crossing "the line".
I'm going to make sure that I live my life without anymore regrets, and this will be the first step.
Let this shattered dream echo at tomorrow's end.
Hope, no matter how small, can only come about, through despair.
You can't have hope in something, without having been through some sort of pain or sadness. Otherwise it wouldn't really be hope, it's just something you call hope because it sounds nicer that way.
One definition of hope is that; its a feeling that what is wanted can be had, or that events will turn out for the best. If you weren't in a bad situation, you would have no need of hope.
I have never hoped for something, unless I needed some sort of comfort. It was a way to tell myself that everything would be okay, and that I don't need to worry.
With hope, my confusion disappears and its as though light is shining into my previously dark room.
I've made a decision, to let go of my past, and focus on my present. Mr. Mason even told me today, that in my reports it said that I either need to focus more, or that I'm crossing "the line".
I'm going to make sure that I live my life without anymore regrets, and this will be the first step.
Let this shattered dream echo at tomorrow's end.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
quote of the day - 25/6
"Trying to change ourselves in order to please others so that we can feel temporarily whole for having won their approval, is like cutting a flower into pieces so that it will fit into a vase."
Friday, June 24, 2011
quote of the day - 24/6
So I realised that I don't really do much on this blog, so I've decided to start these "quote of the day" things, where I'll just give a random quote. If they ever help you, I'd be happy if you could tell me, since helping people is like drugs to me haha (:
And so, to start things off:
And so, to start things off:
"Life is a series of rooms, and who we get stuck in those rooms with, adds up to what our lives are."
- House M.D
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
tuning to 441
So today we got our year 12 hoodies! They're really warm and look quite good. When worn in conjunction with my jumper, even though it was freezing today, I was still warm. I'm glad we got them today haha.
Now, if you're wondering what I decided to put on my hoodie, then too bad, you won't get to find out. You'll have to come find me at school or be lucky enough to see me out wearing it! What I put on it isn't something generic, so I like to see people smile or laugh when they see it. (: Come find me if you're curious!
Also, during this year I've felt kinda... hmm, what's the word...un-interested? Probably not the best word to use as it doesn't really convey how I feel very well, but I think it's as close as I'm gonna get without consulting a thesaurus..
Anyway, I don't really know why, but I feel as though I've lost interest over the course of the year. I keep telling myself that I'm probably imagining it, but it's pretty clear that I'm not. It's been a year since the last time I confessed, but things just seem different this time round. It's not as though it's a bad thing, it's just not the same. I mean, we can still talk and stuff, but there is something missing that used to be there. It felt as though I was trying to keep the relationship "good" when it was just not meant to be.
During the year, I felt I was slowly drifting further and further away from this person, no matter what I tried to do. But, I think when it really hit me that it wouldn't work, was when I asked that person to come to my baptism. A significant event in my life, yet she didn't come. She didn't go out of her way to come and share that significant moment in my life. Even my friend Sarah, who had UCC later that night, found out details without me telling her and came to watch. I saw that person less and less, and sooner or later, it just didn't seem to matter anymore.
I think, through the little effort she showed, feelings have faded quite a bit, and with everyone telling me it's been too long and it's not worth it, a relationship with that person just doesn't seem possible.
I'm at a loss, as to what I'm supposed to do.
My friend has kept telling me to go for this other girl, because apparently she showed some interest in me, but I didn't share that same interest, and I didn't want to go for her.
But lately I've made friends with someone else, and it's been really nice talking to her. It's been a pretty long time since I've shown an interest in another person, and I think I might have forgotten the feeling. I can't say for sure whether or not that feeling is there, but it is nice to talk to that person.
Normally, I would feel guilty about talking too much to another girl, but that doesn't seem to be the case anymore. Now, I'm not too sure why that is, in fact, I'm not too sure why I would've felt guilty in the first place, since me and that other person weren't dating or anything. But when I talk to this new friend, everything just seems fine.
I enjoy talking to this person, and I don't know whats going to happen if I keep talking to her, but for now, I think it's good that I have someone to talk to. And it's also good because we share interests, so we seem to be able to talk really easily.
Wow that's a long post. I didn't realise I had typed so much...
Anyway, to finish off, I should probably explain the title of this post.
"tuning to 441" is a metaphor. 441 is the frequency of the musical note 'A' on guitar, and tuning to it means I'm tuning to a specific frequency. I said that I made a new friend and we hit it off pretty well, and so tuning to that frequency is a metaphor for meeting someone that I can be 'in sync' with. And yes, it does sound pretty corny, but I thought that it would be a nice title for this post. (:
Until next time I guess.
Now, if you're wondering what I decided to put on my hoodie, then too bad, you won't get to find out. You'll have to come find me at school or be lucky enough to see me out wearing it! What I put on it isn't something generic, so I like to see people smile or laugh when they see it. (: Come find me if you're curious!
Also, during this year I've felt kinda... hmm, what's the word...un-interested? Probably not the best word to use as it doesn't really convey how I feel very well, but I think it's as close as I'm gonna get without consulting a thesaurus..
Anyway, I don't really know why, but I feel as though I've lost interest over the course of the year. I keep telling myself that I'm probably imagining it, but it's pretty clear that I'm not. It's been a year since the last time I confessed, but things just seem different this time round. It's not as though it's a bad thing, it's just not the same. I mean, we can still talk and stuff, but there is something missing that used to be there. It felt as though I was trying to keep the relationship "good" when it was just not meant to be.
During the year, I felt I was slowly drifting further and further away from this person, no matter what I tried to do. But, I think when it really hit me that it wouldn't work, was when I asked that person to come to my baptism. A significant event in my life, yet she didn't come. She didn't go out of her way to come and share that significant moment in my life. Even my friend Sarah, who had UCC later that night, found out details without me telling her and came to watch. I saw that person less and less, and sooner or later, it just didn't seem to matter anymore.
I think, through the little effort she showed, feelings have faded quite a bit, and with everyone telling me it's been too long and it's not worth it, a relationship with that person just doesn't seem possible.
I'm at a loss, as to what I'm supposed to do.
My friend has kept telling me to go for this other girl, because apparently she showed some interest in me, but I didn't share that same interest, and I didn't want to go for her.
But lately I've made friends with someone else, and it's been really nice talking to her. It's been a pretty long time since I've shown an interest in another person, and I think I might have forgotten the feeling. I can't say for sure whether or not that feeling is there, but it is nice to talk to that person.
Normally, I would feel guilty about talking too much to another girl, but that doesn't seem to be the case anymore. Now, I'm not too sure why that is, in fact, I'm not too sure why I would've felt guilty in the first place, since me and that other person weren't dating or anything. But when I talk to this new friend, everything just seems fine.
I enjoy talking to this person, and I don't know whats going to happen if I keep talking to her, but for now, I think it's good that I have someone to talk to. And it's also good because we share interests, so we seem to be able to talk really easily.
Wow that's a long post. I didn't realise I had typed so much...
Anyway, to finish off, I should probably explain the title of this post.
"tuning to 441" is a metaphor. 441 is the frequency of the musical note 'A' on guitar, and tuning to it means I'm tuning to a specific frequency. I said that I made a new friend and we hit it off pretty well, and so tuning to that frequency is a metaphor for meeting someone that I can be 'in sync' with. And yes, it does sound pretty corny, but I thought that it would be a nice title for this post. (:
Until next time I guess.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
おわりだ
exams. they are finally over. free at last.
So ever since the end of the gat, everything has been pretty relaxed. Had a couple days where we had no work to do whatsoever which was really nice.
We also had our yr 12 formal on thursday night which wasn't too bad. I'm not that into formals anyway so I didn't really mind. People danced, people took photos that sort of stuff. After party was all right as well. Nothing that special. Only me and one other person pulled an all-nighter though so that was interesting haha. Neither of us slept all night, we would just sit on the couch and watch people pass out around us, and then drag themselves somewhere comfortable to sleep lol. All in all, a pretty relaxed night/morning!
I've been spending a little bit too much money lately though. After formal we have erol's 18th, and so I'm gonna be pretty broke for a while, even though I really want to go to japan!
On a different but still slightly related note, I've spend a little under $80 ordering and importing SCANDAL's new single and album! Most people will probably think I'm crazy - "why would this idiot buy his music?" But I really want to support them, and buying their CD's to increase their ranking on the oricon charts is the most I can probably do lol.
Anyway, their new single is called "Love-Survive" which I'm guessing is gonna be their summer single for the year, much like what they did last year, and their new album "Baby Action", which has an awesome cover by the way, is going to be released on Haruna's birthday! I'm really looking forward to the releases! =D
So ever since the end of the gat, everything has been pretty relaxed. Had a couple days where we had no work to do whatsoever which was really nice.
We also had our yr 12 formal on thursday night which wasn't too bad. I'm not that into formals anyway so I didn't really mind. People danced, people took photos that sort of stuff. After party was all right as well. Nothing that special. Only me and one other person pulled an all-nighter though so that was interesting haha. Neither of us slept all night, we would just sit on the couch and watch people pass out around us, and then drag themselves somewhere comfortable to sleep lol. All in all, a pretty relaxed night/morning!
I've been spending a little bit too much money lately though. After formal we have erol's 18th, and so I'm gonna be pretty broke for a while, even though I really want to go to japan!
On a different but still slightly related note, I've spend a little under $80 ordering and importing SCANDAL's new single and album! Most people will probably think I'm crazy - "why would this idiot buy his music?" But I really want to support them, and buying their CD's to increase their ranking on the oricon charts is the most I can probably do lol.
Anyway, their new single is called "Love-Survive" which I'm guessing is gonna be their summer single for the year, much like what they did last year, and their new album "Baby Action", which has an awesome cover by the way, is going to be released on Haruna's birthday! I'm really looking forward to the releases! =D
 |
| I love this cover for their new album. (: |
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
background music
So I've decided to add some background music to my blog. It will auto play so if you don't want to hear it then just pause it or something |:
BUT. the songs there are soundtracks, so they just play in the background to make my blog a little more interesting. No-one really stays on a blog for that long, so it only has 5 songs, of which i carefully selected.
The playlist is made up of songs I liked, some really nice, and others epic. In my opinion, all of these pieces of music are really well composed, serving it's purpose in its own way.
I made it so that it starts off slow, with peaceful music, and then as it go on, the songs get faster and faster each time. They're ordered in a way that it will seem more epic as it plays, with the last song being one of the most epic soundtracks I've listened to.
This method of ordering songs helps in the mornings as well. When I only have a certain amount of time, I can start it off slow, to show I have lots of time. Then as i start to run out of time, the tracks get faster and faster, pretty much telling me I'm running out of time and need to hurry up, but if I go over the time limit, it goes back to slow, because since I'm already late anyway, I can take my time! :)
Anyway, if you have any really nice pieces of music that you want me to listen to, feel free to comment! Otherwise, enjoy the new background music!
BUT. the songs there are soundtracks, so they just play in the background to make my blog a little more interesting. No-one really stays on a blog for that long, so it only has 5 songs, of which i carefully selected.
The playlist is made up of songs I liked, some really nice, and others epic. In my opinion, all of these pieces of music are really well composed, serving it's purpose in its own way.
I made it so that it starts off slow, with peaceful music, and then as it go on, the songs get faster and faster each time. They're ordered in a way that it will seem more epic as it plays, with the last song being one of the most epic soundtracks I've listened to.
This method of ordering songs helps in the mornings as well. When I only have a certain amount of time, I can start it off slow, to show I have lots of time. Then as i start to run out of time, the tracks get faster and faster, pretty much telling me I'm running out of time and need to hurry up, but if I go over the time limit, it goes back to slow, because since I'm already late anyway, I can take my time! :)
Anyway, if you have any really nice pieces of music that you want me to listen to, feel free to comment! Otherwise, enjoy the new background music!
epiphany
Let's hope I spelt that right.. ._.
Anyway, I've come to a realisation, that no matter how hard I try, I will not be able to count on my ATAR score to get me into med. Just in my school alone, there are too many people smarter than me, more hard working than me, and they'll definitely beat me at the end of the year. My marks won't be able to rise above everyone else. That is a cold, hard fact.
So that basically means, I'm going to have to rely on my UMAT score and my interview to land me a spot in the course. For some reason, I'm not too worried about my interview, and so hopefully I'll do well on the UMAT. My friend Sarah has already given me some practice questions, so that saves me a little bit of time, and hopefully she'll be able to find more! haha.
I do have some back ups, but it would kinda suck if I don't get into the course I want...
Mid year exams are also coming up, I can already tell they're not going to go well. I'm getting owned in chemistry and physics, there's not much I can do except trust God.
Off to home cell soon, my cell is awesome. It's really great seeing them grow in their faith, and journeying with them. God is doing wonderful things in their lives!
until next time i guess. wish me luck for exams haha :D
Anyway, I've come to a realisation, that no matter how hard I try, I will not be able to count on my ATAR score to get me into med. Just in my school alone, there are too many people smarter than me, more hard working than me, and they'll definitely beat me at the end of the year. My marks won't be able to rise above everyone else. That is a cold, hard fact.
So that basically means, I'm going to have to rely on my UMAT score and my interview to land me a spot in the course. For some reason, I'm not too worried about my interview, and so hopefully I'll do well on the UMAT. My friend Sarah has already given me some practice questions, so that saves me a little bit of time, and hopefully she'll be able to find more! haha.
I do have some back ups, but it would kinda suck if I don't get into the course I want...
Mid year exams are also coming up, I can already tell they're not going to go well. I'm getting owned in chemistry and physics, there's not much I can do except trust God.
Off to home cell soon, my cell is awesome. It's really great seeing them grow in their faith, and journeying with them. God is doing wonderful things in their lives!
until next time i guess. wish me luck for exams haha :D
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