free thought storage

So. I guess my blog is really just 'free thought storage'. A place where I can put my thoughts, and then refer back to them if I feel like it. It's nice to be able to vent somewhere, without people constantly asking me if there is something wrong.

Anyway, yesterday at youth was pretty good in my opinion. Seeing people who don't go up for testimonies often, like Claudine, it really makes the night better, knowing that slowly, the youth is becoming braver and braver about sharing God with people. Tribes was also really good. Especially when Amir did this role-play thing to show the guys more a more practical version of the armor of God.

But the highlight of the night for me, was at the end of the night, even though it was something soooooo tiny that no-one else probably would have even noticed or cared about. And that was: when I got up to get food because Thomas asked me to, and you asked me where I was going. Even though I wasn't talking to you at that moment, when you asked, it showed me that you care. I don't know how much, but even a little is fine. It made my night significantly better. Even though I got a different 'goodbye' than everyone else, it didn't bother me too much.

You probably don't notice it, but you treat me differently. I noticed the way to treat and talk to other guys, and it seems to be different than when you talk to me. I've grown accustomed to it, but it still makes me wonder why. You seem to be more nervous around me, than you are around other guys. Who knows why. But that's just the feeling that I get. I don't think I'll go into detail, but it makes me wonder every single time.

Also, something I noticed as I was typing this. My hands tend to shake, when I write about you. Maybe I'm scared about what would happen if I lose you. Maybe I'm just tired. I really don't know. All I do know, is that my hands were shaking when I was typing this. Haha, yes, I know I'm weird.

but I hope that you know, I'm still waiting.